Brian Rosenthal's Weblog

This is the coolest idea I’ve seen, possibly in my entire life, and the best gift idea that I’ve ever seen:

http://www.kiva.org

Kiva.org is a new idea in economic development. It’s peer-to-peer micro-lending, the way Skype is peer-to-peer telephony.

What the developing world needs most is access to capital, and this site lets you loan as little as $25 to small businesses around the world, to buy farming equipment, inventory for stores, etc.

My wife and I loaned money to street vendor can buy more inventory in her soda business in Nigeria:
http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=3847

The idea is: let people loan money to entrepreneurs around the world, interest free. You can basically browse entrepreneurs (like facebook) and see what businesses they run, and what they want to expand.

And the coolest thing is you can give a gift to someone, and they get to choose who gets the loan, and when the loan is repaid, you can either take the money out, or re-loan it to another entrepreneur.

Kiva loans almost $500,000 / month to entrepreneurs in the third world, through interest-free loans to non-profit banks that act as loan officers.

Check out:

NYTimes:
NYT coverage

CNN:
CNN Coverage

I learned about this through Matt Flannery, the founder, and now my friend Zvi Boshernitzan, is now helping them scale up their web site. (I’m pretty impressed at its speed… Kiva.org is super-fast)

http://davidseah.com/tools/ett/alpha/

This has got to be the neatest thing I’ve ever seen. It uses my time tracking strategy.

People have various types of professional relationships, and the ability to manage different types of relationships allows us to succeed.

The lobbyist, the salesperson, the project manager, the supporter, the leader of peers, the leader of non-peers, the employee, the vendor, the client…

And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with striving for perfection in our lives.

*Perfectionism* is the mistaken belief that anything less than perfection is worthless about our life in general, or a part of our life in particular. That is just simply not true. Success is a continuum, and most of us are on the top side of it, even when we feel like we’re not. And, it’s a long haul, over the course of our lives, where most people will at times feel very successful, and at times, not, and that is very normal.

I would say that most of the problems among Harvard students can be condensed to perfectionism. Let me explain.

Once you accept the perfectionist assumption ("that anything less than perfection is worthless"), you start thinking two things:

(1) Extremely risky behavior that most people would consider irrational becomes attractive if it has a small chance of allowing you to be “perfect". There are more serious behaviours: Cheating on a test. Doing drugs. Committing a crime; and less serious behaviors: not getting enough sleep, not eating right, not exercising. And, they’re all addictive.

Here’s the (somewhat sick) rationalization. The perfectionist thinks that he’s in a “lose lose” situation. That if he does not take the risk, he is worthless because he is not perfect. And, if he does, he might be hurt (caught, get sick, etc), but that’s no worse for him than where he is.

(2) Once you feel yourself slipping, you decide it isn’t worth the effort to keep going.

This also feeds on itself, for a few reasons:

(a) The person doesn’t want to admit that they have made this decision so they will invent reasons why they have to stop (they’ll get sick, or they’ll decide that the entire field is corrupt).

(b) Or, they will literally erase the decision from their memory and move on, having learned nothing and isolated their “perfectionism” to a particular part of their life.

Here’s the thing. I’m convinced that as soon as someone who suffers from perfectionism realizes the distinction between “wanting to be perfect” and “perfectionism", the entire psychological distortion falls apart… it’s just a nuance that you have to see, and then, it’s like “Oh, right. Exactly.” So, please, be aware of your friends who feel this way because it is far more common than you think.

When you grow up, you’re judged less on your ability to complete tasks, but on your ability to make good decisions. You have to give yourself the physical, mental, and emotional space to make good decisions.

It’s less true when you’re young. When you’re young, you are judged more on your ability to work hard or finish tasks or display a certain skill.

Adults are judged on their judgment.

Also, you realize that no one really looks out for you. You have to look out for yourself …

1. You have to allocate the time to *look forward* to things.

When was the last time you really planned a trip, rather than simply attended? Too many people don’t feel they have the time.

It is very important to plan in advance for things, not just so that you can be prepared for the responsibilities, but also so you can be emotionally prepared to enjoy it.

This means (a) taking the time off work to plan your wedding, (b) planning trips far enough in advance to not be immersed in the details while traveling.

2. Give back to your community, and not just to the less fortunate.

There is a responsibility to be a vital part of the lives around you.

The responsibility stems from the expectation that those around you will help you, and that is important because interdependence is necessary to succeed in anything.

Let me be very clear - I don’t mean be charitable, although, I think that’s an important part. You want to live such that everyone you interact with, you touch in a positive way. So, if there are people around you that need help, you should help them.

Relationships have a balance, just like a bank account. Sometimes, you feel like you owe someone something. Other times, they owe you. You have to be in balance.

(From a conversation with Zvi)

A core distinction in philosophical directions throughout the ages has been the embracing of asceticism.

You can see it in the Catholic Church when celibacy is promoted for the most religious positions.

You can see it in India with Ghandi.

You can see it in many Eastern philosophies.

Maimonides in his writings discussed this a bit. In Zvi’s words, he said that some people stuff themselves too much. Some people starve themselves too much. Both are distractions from what is really important.

There is nothing wrong with asceticism. It’s a good way for someone who “stuffs themselves too much” to get a better balance in their life.

Likewise, someone who does not have what they need could benefit from enjoying life more.

The thing is, neither hedonism and asceticism are ends in themselves, but distractions, and to have a valued perspective on life, you need to recognize when you’re over-stuffing yourself in hedonistic pleasures, or when you’re starving yourself, and correct accordingly, for any particular need.

Fear is such a confusing emotion.

People who are scared, but generally happy, are less likely to take risks.

People who are scared, but generally unhappy, are desparate, and more likely to do self destructive things.

“Happiness from the Inside Out”

The most surprising thing about Harvard University was that most people there were not happy. Here were people who were over-accomplished, by any standard, for their age, and you would think they would be happy, if not obviously, than more deeply when you got to know them. Surprisingly, I found the reverse. The more I got to know people, the more I realized that a great many people there (not all, of course), were deeply unhappy, an unhappiness that extended beyond frustration, beyond temporary stress, beyond temporary self-doubt in their rite of passage.

But, some were. What could have caused it…

Many of their parents and teachers concluded that because they were unhappy, they were depressed. They were sent to psychiatrists, given medication and counseling, and were expected to perform as a “normal” happy student. Very few seemed to benefit from this. They were merely transformed from unhappy college students to unhappy college students on medication.

My own personal journey has been filled with much happiness, and like everyone many disappointments. This book is not intended to be a book on abnormal psychology. This book is about normal people and why sometimes, we are happy, and why other times we are not.

A recent US News and World Report suggested the idea

Chapter 1: What I learned from my grandmother

Chapter 2: How to figure out what is important to you

- Tradeoffs Real and hypothetical.

Chapter 3: How to spend your time on the important things.

Chapter 4: Happiness drives success, not visa versa.

Chapter 5: Happiness from the Inside Out

Chapter 6: Living from the Inside Out

Happiness is worth thinking about. Nothing else is as important to your health, your relationships with your spouse, your relationships with your children, your longevity, your general well-being, your effectiveness at your career.

The happiest people I know are people who approach life from a solid core. They start with the core fundamentals - making sure they have good habits, good relationships with their family, their spouse, their children.

They make sure that they have their finances in order.

Then, they move outwards toward their friends.

Then, with a solid core, they reach out to be effective in their jobs, etc.